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Dang it!

I’ve written some today. Still, I do not feel satisfied with my work. I feel like I’m tramping in the same place, not able to move on. I have this whole story in my head, but it comes out so, so slowly. Getting on my nerves! And gets me anxious to boot.

My foul mood might be from having a sore wrist. The left one. It easily gets sore, have for the last 20+ years or so, ever since I almost broke it. Had to have a cast on it for weeks. Today it has bothered me a lot. I should get some support for it, but the good ones are expensive. I used to have one, but I don’t know what has happened to it.

Now I’m just sitting here, at work, wondering what to do. Writing just seems to get me irritated right now, can’t get the words formed like I want to (still, I have written at least 1k words today). I feel so conflicted, have for some days. I want to write, but at the same time I only get irritated when I do. I have all these ideas, but it feels like I can’t do anything about them.

I don’t remeber who it was that suggested to me that I should get a recorder, and when I can’t write down the words, I should just talk. But I can’t do that either! If I could talk, form the words by talking, I would also be able to write them down. My problem is more that I know what I want to say, but not how to say it. In part, I see my story in pictures and then I feel it. It is hard to explain. I know the story, but I have problems putting it into words.

I guess I’ll do some knitting. It’s gona be hard on my wrist, but I’ll live with it. Maybe tomorrow I could go buy a support-thingy for it.


One response to “Dang it!

  1. shotgunsandseahorses ⋅

    I can’t say I know exactly how how you feel because who can?
    But I go through a similar thought process when I’m stuck with my work. It’s like having an explosion inside, waiting to be released. The problem is that all the avenues are blocked, it remains inside where it annoys the hell out of me! there are good days and bad days. I just think, this, as writers, is what we have to deal with from time to time.

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