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Gender identity crisis?

Some say that when you dream, it is your subconsciousness trying to tell you something. Well, tell me then what the dream I had last night meant!

It started like a normal dream. I was this gal, and there was this murder and for some reason I ended up in a mansion – where the murdered old man had lived with his family. There now was the widow, a son and a daughter and then the widow had a male servant. I didn’t actually do anything to actually solve the murder, I was more interested in the daughter of the family – and yes, she was NOT a young daughter, both the daughter and the son was my age.

The dream went on quite regularly. Flirting, but not actually doing anything. Having a good time. Pretty much forgetting the murder. Then I had to leave. I was dropped of at some place that I first did not recognize, but then I realized it was in my birth town, near the house of one of my friends grandmother. So I started to make my way home (where that was, I do not remember). I made my way to this strangers house, who tells me something about this old man that was murdered and about his family. Do not remember what, but it was strange. I left.

Quite normal dream stuff until now.

Then, for some unknown reason, I decide I’d really like to be a man! And I send a text message to My Love (that I at this point in the dream managed to remember for a short while…) that I will go and have a sex change surgery. As this was a dream, I ended up being a man just after that.

I now go back to the mansion, a man this time. Still the same though, and everyone recognizes me and no one comments on my sex change, it is all as it should be. And I am – of course – still in the mood for romance (read SEX). Only, as I am a man now, I avoid the daughter of the house and go look for the son! Apparently I changed my gender, but I am still homosexual. I find him in his room and we immediately start to flirt and end up in bed trying to figure out how to men have sex… And then we get it right and… His mother (the widow) walks in! Follows some embarrassing moments when we try to cover and the woman notices nothing and soon leave and we continue.

Then the sister walks in, with her mothers servant (who mostly observes, does nothing). The sister gets really angry, calling me a cheat, crying and screaming. Me and her brother get up from the bed and dressed and the servant takes her brother outside so I can talk to her alone. I explain that I am a man now, an thus I can not be with her – anyways, we didn’t actually do anything the last time, I was just being friendly and why did she read so much into it (ok, so I was an asshole too…)? She calms down, and leaves. Her brother returns and we get back to business. Finally we seem to be getting our chance to have our “romantic moment” and then – of course – I wake up.

And I woke up with a WTF??? feeling… So, what is my subconsciousness trying to tell me? That I’d really like to be a homosexual MAN? And, for your information, this is not the first time I have had this kind of dream.. It is the most reoccurring topic of my dreams these days, that I am a man – and about 4/5 times also gay.

And in this waking life, I like to wear dresses, shiny things are really pretty and I painted my living room walls pink… I’m not considered to be a very masculine person..

I wonder what I’ll dream tonight? Will My Love also have a ex change? That happened once… No less confusing though.


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