I’m watching the Walking Dead. Season 1, episode 6. There was a big, burning explosion and people were running from it, or just giving up and let it take them.
For a moment, I thought, I’d just like to give up fighting. Let the big explosion take me. End the chaos that is my life nowadays. Just give in.
Then I realized, that the moments when I feel better, when everything is okay, are the ones when I’m not fighting. Who am I fighting anyways? Or what?
Am I fighting life?
Am I THAT stupid?
When I give up fighting, when I just take life as it is – chaos and all – that is when I have my good days.
So I realized, giving up does not have to mean dying, losing, weakness or anything at all. Giving up fighting myself, fighting my life and the circumstances of it… That is what I SHOULD do. I should just go with it.
I should stop being rigid and stiff. I should bend instead of waiting for the moment when I break.
This is actually no news to me. I just seem to have to learn it again and again all the time. Hopefully, I will be able to keep it in mind better now that I have written it down.
Some say TV-series, movies and the like only give birth to violence and mindlessness. I disagree. Many times when I watch a “stupid show”, it gives me insights and ideas. It might just be a little detail, something the character says or whatever, but without it, I would probably not have had the thought I had.
Nothing is stupid and useless. It only is, if you let it be so.